They Are Who They Are by Age 6

In my opinion, if there are no consequences for bad actions, you will raise monsters. Perhaps that’s a little harsh, but how many spoiled little people do you know who have no respect for their parents? It is so much easier to control a two- or three-year-old than to try to bring boundaries to a seven-year-old. I believe that children “are who they are” by the time they are about five or six—so make those early years count. Time out means time out. That means you don’t talk to the child, and they stay in the time-out zone for an appropriate amount of time for their age: in our family, for toddlers that meant about four minutes. I never spanked my kids, but when they did something bad (hit, bite, and the like), they lived in the time-out zone, and a favorite toy (or two, three, or four) went up on a high shelf for the whole day. (That’s likely to cause more of a tantrum—who cares?) Sure, it’s easier to give in to a kid, but raising kind, competent, caring kids is a day-in, day-out activity