The Working Mom’s Guilt

I am not sure I have a lesson to teach here, nor do I have any professional expertise. But I sure do have strong feelings about this subject. Let the guilt go. Do the best that you can. Show your kids how much you love them. Be there whenever you can. Be consistent. Be a parent:boundaries are good. Help them to stand on their own. Help them to become resilient. Who cares how clean your house is; let perfect go as well. Kids will grow up, and there is lots of time for a lovely, “perfect” home when the kids are gone.

Some moms work because they must, some moms work because they want to, and some work because they need to and they want to. I hope you are one of those moms who likes your job regardless of why you work. It helps a whole lot if you love what you are doing because being a happy mom is a good thing to show your kids. If you are unhappy, think about how you can make a change.

It is amazing how everyone who has a child is an expert on raising kids and is sure they know what is best. Also, it is crazy how opinionated other people are about your life. Try hard to let that go also.

My opinion is if you love your kids,they will be okay. LOVE is pretty magical stuff. Yes, your child would rather you stay home and play with them every day of your life. That does not make them a better child. Going to work and coming home shows them that they can count on you and do well on their own. That too is a good thing to learn. Hopefully you have a good child-care option. If you don’t,work hard to make a better choice. That is really important. I can’t imagine being at work if I didn’t feel good about who was caring for my children.Private help, child-care centers, grandparents, or friends all can be great partners in helping us grow our kids. 

One of my very best friends lives in the south, is incredibly smart, but did not work after she had kids. Over the years, we were together most years traveling somewhere with our children, and she would comment every so often about how “normal and nice” my kids were. People: moms who work have nice, normal kids too. I don’t brag about much, but my kids are grown, and I sure do like them—and they like me. They have jobs, they have families they love, and they consider themselves to be very lucky. They are smart,humble, and kind—even though I was a working mom.