Building Family Traditions

I have many family traditions I started with my kids, and I’m hoping some will last the test of time for generations to come. Life just goes too fast, and these are still special memories.

Making Wishes

We take walks and make a  “wish” on a gate, a tree, or some object that signifies the end of our walk. Silly, but all my kids know I do this and they will do it too. How can another wish or two hurt?

Family Time

When kids are young introduce the words “Family Time.” Make that mean it’s a time we sit down (or do something) as a family, with only our family. Take walks, read a book, play a game, watch a movie, sing around a piano, go to church, take a special trip, or cook a family dinner. By building these words into their vocabulary, it also builds the special concept of family as a unit when the kids are very young. Keep this concept going throughout your lives. Don’t overuse it, or use it as an excuse to keep your older kids from doing something fun with others; always allow it to be powerful and special.

We would spend every Christmas with my parents at our farm in Florida. For a solid week we never left our farm; we just stayed there doing fun things with each other. Then we would drive to spend time with my in-laws. These vacations were  “double perfect” in my mind. Time spent with your children when they are little is so crucial, but it’s even more important when they are teenagers. We swam, read, played tennis, looked at the new baby foals, ate all meals together, watched movies, played games; we were just a family without all the outside interruptions. And it was pretty special to vacation every year with each set of grandparents. Also incredibly special were the trips my kids took with my parents, where they learned to fish, play poker, love horse racing, value nature, and enjoy almost any sporting event. Most of all, they saw in action the amount of work that followed my family everywhere. Work hard, play hard—but understand that people are counting on you and you need to be connected even on vacation. Once again, living our core value of working hard

Vegetable Garden

Plant a vegetable garden with your kids. Tomatoes and peppers grow pretty easily if planted in a place with lots of sunlight—whether in pots on a balcony or a little plot in your garden. I did this with my kids and it warmed my heart to see my daughter doing it with her daughters as well.

Tribute at Birthdays

As the kids get older, introduce a speech about your child at his or her birthday dinner. Focus on all the fun stuff you love about them and the funny memories from the last year. Have the other kids contribute. Take a little time and make it important. It will be a memory that lasts a lifetime. My father has given a Thanksgiving toast for every year of our lives. It’s always something special.

Good Will

When my kids were a little older, at least once a year we would clean out their rooms and closets. They would spend a couple of hours with me choosing what they would give away; the goal was to donate 20 percent of their stuff. It helped to teach them that other people need clothes, toys, and sports equipment. They learned from early ages to share, and as they got older, they would come to me when they heard someone’s house had burned down or a family needed help because the parents had lost their jobs. It was a great way to help build compassionate kids.

Pitching In

At Christmas, we would hold an all-company event for the children of all our employees at an indoor amusement park. We gave away gifts at various carnival stations and, of course, Santa would come. It was heartwarming to see our whole workforce with their kids. My children were guests until they were twelve and then every year they were recruited to work. It was great to see them helping all the little ones and being a part of our “family business.” They did this for years. I am convinced that all this exposure to our workforce was a great factor in building their own work ethic.

A Few More Ideas

Here are some additional ideas for mom, dad, or grandparents to consider to build traditions through the years:

• From my friend Marty Whealy: give ten cards for a tenth birthday.
• Pick up a shell each time you go to the beach with your kids and display them in a glass bowl.
• A week before Christmas, buy seven books for your children. Unwrap one each night as you count down to Christmas.
• If you own a house, plant a tree on your property for each birth.
• Do something special for a twenty-first birthday.
• Pick apples every fall. Go to pumpkin farms at Halloween. Visit the best windows in town at Christmas and spend the night in the city. We would repeat certain things every year, and we created wonderful traditions with our kids.
• Hang bird feeders in your garden and see nature come alive.
• Take walks in every season. My children used to make fun of me always exclaiming about the autumn colors. Not anymore. They too love sunsets, the leaves changing, snow falling, and flowers blooming. Share your passions. This love of nature became part of their core.
• Take a weekend away with your child and their friends. I am positive I got to know my children so much better when I spent chunks of time with their friends. The big lesson: no matter what you choose to do, do it together.